Alice’s Dilemma
Alice enters the spacious, dimly lit hotel ballroom. She sees several conference attendees already gathered at the tables up front. On the stage a long table is set with the usual water pitchers, cups, and placards indicating who should sit where. She finds the placard with her name on it. She’ll be sitting at the very end. And she’ll be speaking in front of many high powered industry executives – not something she’s used to, and not something she enjoys.
Alice squares her shoulders and swallows hard. She takes long slow breaths as she makes her way to the stage, but the butterflies refuse to fly away. “It’s just nerves!” she tells herself for the tenth time this morning. But that’s not all it is. Alice, over the course of a highly successful career, finds herself again battling messages from her internal critic. Our culture has termed this Imposter Syndrome, originally called Imposter Phenomenon in 1978 by researchers Pauline Rose Clance & Suzanne Imes in their study, titled: The Imposter Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention.
But is Imposter Syndrome Real?
A closer look at this problem however, reveals both internal and external forces at play. Over the course of seven years, Alice has been employed in a management position at a high powered financial firm, structured with the usual corporate hierarchy: older white males in charge, everyone underneath them competing for higher leadership positions. Alice had just been promoted to a coveted role as vice president of marketing and communications. After that promotion however, her internal critic put the toxicity into overdrive.
We’ve Learned Some Things Since the 70’s
Recent decades have drawn a clearer picture of the negative and powerfully subtle currents at work in western business cultures. Where g that Alice needs to fix on her own, (and sounds like a throwback to “female hysteria”) we now know that pressures on women and people of color in white male dominated workplaces: micro-aggressions, feeling “out of the loop”, harassment and worse, result in employees feeling plagued by some version of internalized insecurity regarding their own ability, competency, and suitability for their positions. Oftentimes, the more status in the title, the greater the stress. This was certainly the case with Alice.
Does This Sound Familiar?
The firm Alice works for is headed by a phalanx of white men aged 55 and up. The seven of them have been a good ole boys network for decades, and it wasn’t until one of the portfolio managers, Pauline, threatened a discrimination lawsuit five years ago, that they begrudgingly opened their ranks to Pauline and a Hispanic man, Alfredo.
This incremental shift at the top however, resulted in very little attitudinal change. Pauline functioned as a mentor to Alice until her forced retirement last year due to health issues, brought about largely, Pauline now admits, by stress and overwork.
Alice watched Pauline’s situation develop with a sense of foreboding. Would she follow the same path? Does she have to become an impossibly flawless productivity machine in order to stay employed?
We CAN Make This Better…
While Alice can’t singlehandedly change many of the dynamics she encounters at her workplace, she can begin to transform the way she talks to herself. With sustained and consistent effort, changing toxic self talk can bring us to a much improved, stable frame of mind where we can begin to make better decisions and set firmer boundaries.
Gill Corkendale, in an HBR article titled “Overcoming Imposter Syndrome”, highlights some toxic internal beliefs that fuel the problem:
- “I must not fail” This belief brings enormous pressure and makes it impossible to enjoy success, with increased responsibility and visibility. With this belief, Alice can’t fail, or she will be “found out”.
- “I feel like a fake” Alice believes she gives the impression of competency, but still struggles with doubts that she deserves her promotion.
- “It’s all down to luck” Very few white males are known to harbor this belief, but for others, the tendency to attribute success at work to colleagues, good timing, or “luck” is, over time, problematic in owning and enjoying one’s success.
- “Success is no big deal” Continually discounting one’s success and the tendency to deflect compliments are hallmarks of Imposter Phenomenon. After awhile, even those who feel drawn to acknowledge Alice’s excellent work may refrain from doing so.
Does any of this sound familiar to you? I know it does to my ears. These phrases often enter into conversations with my highly professional female clients, and I’ve suffered myself from these toxic patterns.
What To Do?
Yes, there are plenty of coaching options and hundreds of models for dealing with toxic internal criticism. As of this summer, I’ve taken a plunge into the Positive Intelligence model developed by Shirzad Chamine. Shirzad, an engineer by training, shows how to shift your mind from self-sabotage to optimal performance using simple and proven neuroscience-based techniques, developed in comprehensive trials over the course of a decade.
At its most basic, the Positive Intelligence model – or PQ, is the process of taking a hard look at the internal critic and its messaging, as well as the nine distinct “saboteurs” keeping us “in line” – like The “Hyper-Achiever”, The “Stickler”, The “Avoider”. These entities are simply coping mechanisms we’ve all developed in childhood to deal with whatever our particular stresses may have been, but now, as adults, they are impeding our progress personally and professionally. If you’d like to find out what your top three internal saboteurs are, just follow this link to the quick assessment.
Once identified, saboteurs can be neutralized by strengthening the “Sage muscles”. The Sage powers are recognizable to anyone who has tried to build more mindfulness into their lives: Empathy, Exploration (essentially, curiosity), Innovation, Navigation and Activation. These powers flow in order from the feminine with Empathy, to the masculine, with Action.
Results in Six Weeks. No,REALLY!
Sound simplistic? I was skeptical at first too. The more I dug into it however, and the more consistently I did the quick and simple daily mindfulness practices, the better I felt. I started to get more specific about what I need and where to place my attention. That’s the Navigator skill, which was my weakest (anyone else struggle with prioritizing?) Gradually, I gave myself permission to pick and choose opportunities that best fit my skills, my calendar and my needs. This is paying off in even more opportunity and more income. All within six weeks! That’s why I’ve signed on to the certification program.
Oh And…
I truly appreciate that this model does NOT require us to dig back into our childhoods. Enough already with that.
An Invitation….
I can sign people up for the same six week PQ program I went through, at a reduced cost of $25 per seat, which includes access to the extremely popular PQ app, weekly videos by Shirzad, and a “pod”, a small group on Zoom that I will facilitate. These groups are terrific for accountability and deepening the positive effects of the program.
What You Get…
- Weekly Videos to help you identify and prevent Saboteur “Hijackings”
- An exclusive app to guide daily practice
- Interactive PQ Gym to build Sage muscle
- Daily Progress tracking
- An online cohort community facilitated by me
- A global online community with Shirzad Chamine
If you’d like more info on being a part of my group – get in touch with me soon as we will be starting our 6 week program in a few weeks. I only have 3 seats available and I’d love to sign you up! PLUS… nothing more complicated than downloading the app is required of you in order to grab a seat. All the registering is on my end.
Hope to see you soon in a PQ Pod!
Blessings
Kym