In our rapidly evolving professional landscape, the concept of cultural “fit” takes on new dimensions. No longer is it just about aligning with the values and norms of an organization; it’s about embracing diverse perspectives and building authentic connections.
The model for intentional Head Heart and Hands listening that I share in my book includes many experiences of people who struggle when strongly reliant on a singular listening modality. See if you can relate to Todd’s story…
Navigating Tricky Tricky Terrain
Todd, a talented engineer in his late 30s, embarked on a transformative journey when he sought coaching to navigate the challenges of his new managerial role and foster better relationships with his colleagues.
Todd’s story is a tale of embracing complexity and transcending the boundaries of compartmentalization. As a highly skilled Head listener, Todd excelled in his role, processing facts and data with ease. However, his exclusive reliance on this modality left him feeling isolated and disconnected from his colleagues’ more gregarious interactions. His struggle to fit in and his reluctance to share personal interests began to take a toll on his well-being.
Complicated or Complex Problem?
I believe it was Atul Gawande who coined the distinction between complicated and complex problems. Complicated problems, though often difficult and intricate, can be solved once an appropriate system is created. And when those problems arise again, the same systemic solutions can be applied. Complex problems – the ones human interactions produce – can only truly be solved on a case by case basis. And deeper, more intentional listening must be applied.
Head listeners often make the mistake of trying to solve complex human problems by applying systematic solutions. We see this mistake play out in so many Human Resource efforts that result in confusion and frustration on all sides.
Todd was very frustrated and hurt when trying to connect with his reports beyond the daily transactional data-driven communications.
The D&D “Doorway”
However, our work together began to shift when Todd revealed, reluctantly, his passion for Dungeons and Dragons (D&D), an imaginative and intricate role-playing game. As I got him to go a bit deeper into talking about this experience, it became evident that Todd’s engagement with D&D isn’t just a leisure activity; it’s a portal into his authentic self. It’s a space where he can freely exercise his creativity, explore new storylines, and build deep connections with online friends who appreciate him for who he is.
The coaching process offers Todd a transformative perspective shift. He discovers that true connections aren’t built solely on facts and data; they’re nurtured by understanding body language, vocal tone, and emotions – the Heart listening modality. He learns to bridge his two worlds by tapping into his emotional intelligence and opening up to the possibility of forging connections beyond the virtual realm.
The “Game” is Key
The concept of creating a “game” to encourage Todd’s growth becomes a turning point. By devising a structured challenge to practice Heart listening, Todd’s journey becomes more than just self-discovery; it becomes an adventure of connection. Through small interactions, like guessing a cashier’s emotional state and offering kind words, Todd earns “points” and begins to see the value of engaging with emotions in interpersonal interactions.
The game isn’t just about accumulating points, though. It’s about embracing discomfort, stepping out of one’s comfort zone, and realizing the power of vulnerability. As Todd takes this playful yet purposeful approach, his workplace interactions begin to change. He starts to recognize the humanity in his colleagues, bridging the gap between work and leisure time, and allowing his authentic self to shine through.
Diversity = Unique Strengths
Todd’s journey is a testament to the multifaceted nature of cultural fit. It’s not just about conforming to existing norms; it’s about creating a space where diverse individuals can contribute their unique strengths. As organizations become more inclusive, the need for diverse perspectives and approaches becomes paramount. Todd’s transition from an exclusive Head-oriented listener to a more Heart-connected communicator provides an example of the evolution many professionals are navigating today.
Todd’s story showcases the power of coaching to guide individuals toward unlocking their authentic selves. As the world of work evolves, the ability to connect on a deeper level and navigate the complexities of human interactions becomes a cornerstone of success. Todd’s journey reminds us that embracing complexity, engaging in emotional intelligence, and fostering connections can lead to profound personal and professional growth. It’s a reminder that, in the ever-changing landscape of corporate culture, there’s space for everyone to contribute their unique strengths and stories.
My book “Head, Heart and Hands Listening in Coach Practice” is available at a discount through August 31st by visiting my author page at https://bit.ly/3O6rXW0