February can be a beast. I feel sluggy, disorganized, cranky… Somehow, I just can’t stop getting in my own way. You too? I think there’s a scientific term for this.
It’s called a bad case of The Februaries.
But you can stop beating yourself up for all those To-Do’s that are raising their eyebrows at you. In fact, beating ourselves up is, according to the Positive Intelligence coaching model, and several significant studies – counterproductive.
So stop that right now.
Instead, I invite you to dig a little deeper into what trips you up on the way to whoever you know you can be, and whatever you need to accomplish. In the Positive Intelligence (PQ) model, we uncover our internal critic – The Judge – (who I had some fun with last month!) along with nine individual Saboteurs, who are interesting little obstacles in their own way.
First you’ll want to take, for FREE, a very short and quite revealing Saboteur Assessment to find out which of these bad boys are tripping you up.
And a note about the Saboteurs: they are each composed of positive strengths and attributes that are pushed beyond productivity into imbalance and disfunction.
First Saboteur in the line-up (drumroll please…)
The Avoider
Some of us know when to protect ourselves. Some of us can instinctively read the temperature in a room such that we can divert attention, change the subject, or find a way to simply remove ourselves from loaded and problematic interactions. Some of us are operating under the influence of the Avoider.
If you’re in the habit of procrastinating on critical tasks, downplaying the importance of real problems, or even saying “Yes” when you really need to say “NO”, you may be in the clutches of the Avoider.
I’ve learned, since acknowledging some influence of this Saboteur in my inner “portfolio”, that avoidance can take many interesting forms; chronic “busyness” for one, online distraction for another. I watched my mother, particularly in her elder years, do seemingly endless cycles of small loads of laundry, simply to avoid those ubiquitous unpleasant tasks, like taxes, or keeping track of investments or filing the right paperwork with the town after buying a used car.
Sadly, what the Avoider most desires – connection with others – is damaged by the fallout from avoidance. Leaving important tasks undone means others have to take them on. Resentment builds. Reputations get shredded.
So if there are good qualities at the foundation of this saboteur – what might they be? They seek peace and harmony, they have an even-keeled temperament, they can be highly flexible and adaptable, they tend to be positive and non-judgmental of others. But these strengths become exaggerated into counterproductive behaviors when amplified by the Avoider.
If you suspect you may have this saboteur quietly operating inside your psyche, (and again, you can take the quick assessment here), you may find yourself continually frustrated by a lack of momentum in your career, relationships that feel stuck on the surface, and resentment aimed at you by significant others in your world.
There are five Sage powers outlined in the PQ model: Empathize, Explore, Innovate, Navigate, and Action, Avoiders would do well to be coached through the following strategies:
Empathize and acknowledge oneself for trying to maintain harmony and positivity.
Explore how completing important tasks might strengthen positivity and lend a feeling of satisfaction after completion.
Innovate an interesting way to approach a given task that could address and reduce initial resistance
Navigate and explore the positive ramifications of competing this task
Activate the plan by breaking it down into small do-able steps.
It all looks so nice and organized sitting there on the page, doesn’t it? (My “Stickler” is pleased) But don’t be fooled. Putting this model to use takes practice.
And that’s where the PQ operating system comes in.
Sign up here for a free session and I’ll show you how it works!